The Prophet as a Husband
How Was the Prophet Treating his Wives?
All of us wonder about the way the Messenger (PBUH) was with his wives. How he dealt with them? How he treated them equally?
How was the Prophet treating his wives?
What was the Prophet’s way in treating his wives? How could he treat them equally?
The Prophet (PBUH) accomplished the happiness to every one of them; that is because he knew how to deal with women and he penetrated deeply into her sensitive soul and went on apostrophizing her with the warmth of passion and assisted her to work for her religion and her life.
And what about his wives-the mothers of all believers -? If we searched to know about their lives, we will find that most of the books describe the Prophet’s wives with a common quality; fasting a lot and spending their nights praying. So they were privileged with their nearness from Allah and in apostrophizing him all night, that’s why they deserved this great honor ,they deserved to be the mothers of all believers, wives of the beloved Prophet (PBUH) in this life and in the hereafter.
But, what about us? I know that a lot of the readers are married, and if not, they can see what is going on in most of the marriages these days; noticing their parents, relatives, and friends. Why marital happiness is rare in our days? Is it our time’s fault? No, it is our fault, both men and women.
The fact is that we ruined our lives by materialism, by forgetting our religion, our Islamic civilization, and the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH). We forgot our love to Allah and committed sins publicly; our eyes and hearts do not blink for a moment fearing Allah and thinking about the fact that Allah is watching us.
Then, what can we do now to let happiness come back to our marital lives?
There is only one way; the way of Allah and his Prophet (PBUH). This will make everyone happy with his partner in their marital life, and feel the meaning of the marital happiness that almighty Allah created.
From here, dear brothers and sisters, i thought of this series “the Prophet as a husband,” to let every husband and wife who became far from each other restore love again. I hope you will follow up this series.
All prayers, blessings, and peace of Allah be upon Muhammad, his family, and companions.
Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love towards them.
He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:
Knowing Their Feelings
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: how you know that? He said: when you are pleased with me you swear by saying "by the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "by the God of Ibrahim". She said: you are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "no, by the God of Ibrahim".
Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: right – Reported by: Muslim –Source: al-Musnad al-Sahih – page or number: 2439
Understanding their Jealousy & Love
Umm Salama – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.
Narrated by: Um Salama – degree: right – Reported by: al-Albani –Source: Sahih al-Nasa'i – page or number: 3966
Understanding their Psychology & Nature
The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are just like this; therefore treat them kindly".
Narrated by: Abu Huraira – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari –source: al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 3331
This tradition is not for dispraising women as understood by the public, contrary, it is for teaching and educating men. Moreover, this tradition expressed the accurate understanding of the nature of the women and indicated the possibility of leaving the woman as it is in the permissible things but to guide her if she exceeded the permissible limits such as doing the sins and neglecting the duties.
Complaining to & Consulting Them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – has consulted his wives in the most delicate and important matters such as consulting his wife Um Salama – may Allah be pleased with her – regarding Al-Hudaibia treaty. The Prophet – peace be upon him – had written the treaty between him and the polytheists of Quraish in Al-Hudaibia region, in the hudaibia year and told his companions: go to make sacrifice and shave, but no one responded. The Prophet– peace be upon him – repeated that three times but still no one responded to him. Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – went to Um Salama and told her about the matter. Hearing that, Um Salam said: o Prophet of Allah, just go and don't speak to any one until you make your sacrifice and shave. The Prophet– peace be upon him – went out and did not speak to anyone until he did the same. Seeing that, the companions stood and make their immolation and began shaving for each other.
Narrated by: Um Salama hind bint abi umayiah – degree: successive – Reported by: Ibn Jarir Al-Tabari – Source: Tafsir Al-Tabari – page or number: 2/293
Demonstrating his love & loyalty to them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long hadith of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: you are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reportado por: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 5189
Choosing the Best Nicknames to them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was calling Aisha o Aish (nickname of Aisha), this is Jibreel (the angel of revelation) telling you the greetings. Aisha said: may peace and blessings be upon him, you (the Prophet) see what I can't see. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was calling Aisha "al-humairaa" (i.e. White-skinned woman with blushed cheeks).
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right attribution – Reported by: Ibn Hijer Al-Asqalani – Source: Fateh Al-Bari Of Ibn Hijer – page or number: 2/515
Eating & drinking with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: when I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine (in the same spot I was eating from).
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 300
Not Complaining of their Circumstances
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: i was combing the hair of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while in menstruation.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 295
Resting & Sleeping in their Laps
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – peace be upon him – was resting on my lap while I was in menstruation and he was reading Quran.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 297
Going on picnics & accompanying them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wanted to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa was riding it, greeted her and walked together until she got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: Oh my Lord, send a scorpion or a snake to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: al-musnad al-sahih – page or number: 2445
Helping them in the Household Duties
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: he was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 5363
Depending on Himself to Relieve them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet – peace be upon him – in his home. She replied: he washes his clothes, milks his ewe, and serves himself.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Albani– Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – page or number: 4996
She said also: he sews his clothes, cleans his shoes and does what men generally do in their homes.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – page or number: 4937
Tolerating for their happiness
Aisha narrated that Abu Baker – may Allah be pleased with them – entered the home of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while two young girls were striking on the tambourine and singing and while the Prophet – peace be upon him – was laying down and covering himself with his clothes. Seeing him, the Prophet uncovered his face and told him: O Aba Baker, let them continue, these are the days of Eid (festival). The days were mina days and the Prophet – peace be upon him – was in Medina.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: al-albani – Source: al-sahih an-nasai – page or number: 1596
Treat them fairly while angry
Once, Aisha was angry at the Prophet – peace be upon him – so, he told her: do you accept Abu Obaida Bin Al-Jarrah as a judge between us? She replied: no, this man will not issue a judgment against you in my favor. He said: do you accept Omar as a judge? She replied: I fear Omar. He said: do you accept Abu Baker (her father)? She replied: yes I accept him.
Calm them down in panic
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "o Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".
Giving presents and showing affection to their friends
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and said: send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: why Khadijah! The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this hadith ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2435
74712- when he slaughtered the sheep said: send it to the friends of khadijah.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Sahih Al-Jame' – page or number: 4722
Praising & thanking them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: the rank of Aisha to the other women is like the rank of the porridge to the other foods.
Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2446
Feeling happy when they were happy
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was playing with dolls when she was with the Prophet – peace be upon him. She added: my friends were coming to visit me and they were feeling shy of the Prophet – peace be upon him – but he was letting them to be with me; in another narration, in the hadith narrated by Jarir: I was playing with dolls while I was in his home.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2440.
Feeling pleased when they were glad
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: once, the Prophet – peace be upon him – came from a battle and there was a cover for my dolls in my room. The wind uncovered the dolls. Seeing that, the Prophet said: what is this? She replied: my daughters. He said: what is the thing between them? She replied: it is a horse. He said: what is this thing on the horse? She replied: they are two wings. He said: a horse with two wings!! She replied: ¿didn't you hear that Sulaiman Bin Dawood – peace be upon them – was having horses with wings? The Prophet then laughed until his molars could be seen.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Ghayat Al-Maram – page or number: 129
Expressing his love to them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and said: send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: why Khadijah! The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this hadith ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2435
Considering their best manners
"…the faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character".
Narrated by: Abu Huraira – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 1469
Keeping their privacy
"…the worst rank for a man at the day of judgment is the rank of the man who sleeps with his wife and then discloses her privacy".
Narrated by: Abu Saeed Al-Khudri – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 1437
Refraining from beating or abusing them
"The Prophet – peace be upon him – has not ever beaten any woman, any servant or anything in his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah the almighty. He does not take revenge from anyone harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah the almighty, at which case, he takes revenge".
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2328
Consoling & wiping their tears
Safiyah – may Allah be pleased with her – was traveling with the Prophet – peace be upon him – and it was her day. She was slow in walking. The Prophet – peace be upon him – received her while crying and saying: you gave me a slow camel. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – wiped her eyes with his hands and consoled her. Reported by An-Nasai.
Putting the bite in her mouth
The Prophet – peace be upon him said: "if you expend anything seeking the pleasure of Allah Almighty, even if you put a bite in the mouth of your wife, he will promote you to a higher degree in Paradise".
Narrated by: ----- degree: right – Reported by: Ibn Taymiyyah – Source: Majmou' Al-Fatawa – page or number: 10/31
Fulfilling their needs
"O Prophet of Allah ¿what are the rights of my wife? He said: to feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe, don't beat her face, don't abuse her and don't abandon her except at home".
Narrated by: Mu'awiah Bin Haida Al-Qushairi – degree: stated in the introduction that it is "right" pursuant to the standards of some narrators – Reported by: Ibn Daqiq Al-Eid – Source: Al-Elmam – page or number: 2/655
Trusting them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – prohibited men from knocking the door of their families at night trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes. In another narration, he did not mention "trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes".
Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 715
Remembering & caring about them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was visiting his eleven wives within a short period of time, at night or in the day. I said to Anas: ¿was he bearing that? Anas said: he had the power of thirty men.
Narrated by: Anas Bin Malek – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 268
Respecting them during menstruation
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was making love with his wives above the loincloth while in menstruation.
Narrated by: Maimona Bint Al-Hareth – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 294
Accompanying them in travel
The Prophet – peace be upon him – used to cast lots between him wives when he wanted to travel then he takes the one who wins the lot. He cast a lot between us in one of his battles and it was me who won it; therefore, I went with the Prophet – peace be upon him – after the revelation of al-Hijab (veil) verse.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 2879
Racing & playing with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was accompanying the Prophet – peace be upon him – in travel while she was a young girl. She said I was still slim. The Prophet – peace be upon him – told his companions to go forward. They went forward. Then he told me: come, I want to have race with you. We started the race and I won. After a period of time, I went in travel with him and he said to his companions go forward. The companions went forward and then he told me: come to have a race with you. At that time, I forgot the former race and I was fat. I told him: how can we race while I am in this situation (fat)? He replied: you will do it. Then we started the race and he won. He laughed then and said: this is for the previous (race) one.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: his attribution is right – Reported by: al-Albani – Source: Adab Al-Zafaf – page or number: 204
Choosing the best nicknames for them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said to the Prophet – peace be upon him: O Prophet of Allah, all of your wives have nicknames except me. The Prophet – peace be upon him – replied: take the name of your son abdullah (i.e. Abdullah Bin Al Zubair), your nickname now is Um Abdullah. It’s said that: she was called um abdullah until she died though she has not ever given birth.
Narrated by: Orwa Bin Al-Zubair – degree: right attribution – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Al-Silsila Al-Sahiha – page or number: 1/255
Sharing happiness and joy with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: by Allah the Almighty, I saw the Prophet – peace be upon him – standing at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing with their bayonets in the mosque of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while he was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing and was waiting for me until I finish by my own will. So, try to consider the desires of the young girls, they like playing.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 892
116691- Aisha narrated: i saw the Prophet– peace be upon him – at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing in the mosque and the Prophet – peace be upon him – was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 454
Spreading happiness in his house
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: once, Sawda visited us and the Prophet – peace be upon him – sat down between me and her, one leg in her lap and the other in mine. I made then khazira (food) and told her: eat! She refused. I said: if you don't eat i will stain your face with khazira but she insisted not to eat; therefore, i put my hand in khazira and painted her face. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed and gave his share in khzaira to Sawda and told her stain her face; so, Swada stained my face and the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed. Then omar – may Allah be pleased with him – passed by and called for Abdullah. The Prophet – peace be upon him – thought that he will enter but Omar said to us: go wash your faces. Aisha said: since then, I still fear Omar due to the Prophet’s respect to him.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: good – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Al-Al-Silsila Al-Sahiha – page or number: 7/363
Loving & respecting their families
The Prophet – peace be upon him – appointed Amer Bin Al-Aas as a leader to Zat Al-Salasil battle. Feeling the love of the Prophet, amer asked the Prophet: whose is the dearest to you? He answered: (Aisha), Amer said: I mean, from men: he replied: (her father), Amer said: who then? The Prophet replied: (Omar), then the Prophet mentioned several men; so, Amer kept silence in order not to be the last of them.
Narrated by: Abu Othman Al-Nahdi – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 4358
Keeping their dignity in ordeals
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: when the Prophet – peace be upon him – wanted to travel, he used to cast lots between his wives and the one who wins the lot will accompany him. At Bani Al-Mustaleq battle, I won the lot and traveled with him. Women were eating light food and avoid meat in order to move easily. I was sitting in my howdah when we get down for a rest, and when we want to go they carry me while in the howdah and put it on the back of the camel and then tight it with ropes to go forward again.
When the Prophet – peace be upon him – finished the travel, he went back to the Medina. By approaching the Medina, he got down and took rest for a short period at night. Thereafter, the people were told to resume walking and they got ready to continue while I was out to relieve nature and I was having a necklace in my neck. When I finished, the necklace fell down from my neck and I did not remember it until I reached to the place of my baggage. At that time, people began leaving while I returned back again to my place looking for the necklace until I found it. Then, the people who took my camel for rest returned back and put the howdah on the camel thinking that I was there as usual and continue walking. I returned back to the camp and no people were there. All of them went forward. Seeing that, I covered myself with my gown and lay down in my place so that when they miss me they can return and find me there. While in that situation (laying down), Safwan Bin Al-Mu'atel Al-Salami passed by me as he was late for relieving nature. He saw my black clothes and approached me – he knew me before the revelation of the hijab (veil) verse – and said: "to Allah we belong, and to him is our return. The wife of the Prophet is here? I was then covering myself with my gown. He said: why are you late? I said nothing. Then he got the camel close to me and said: ride. He went back a little. Then I rode the camel and he guided the camel towards the caravan but we did not reach them and they did not miss us until the morning when they got down for rest. Then, they saw the man guiding the camel I rode. At that moment, a group of people fabricated a story and began spreading rumors that we committed adultery and the whole camp became confused while I knew nothing about the whole matter.
Then we reached medina and I was very sick and no one was telling me what was going on. Then the matter reached my father and Prophet – peace be upon him – and no one mentioned anything to me. I was then not pleased with the treatment of the Prophet towards me while I was sick because when he enters my room while my mother was nursing me he just says: how are you? He did not say anything else. Seeing that, I felt angry of his coolness and told him: may I go to my mother? He replied: no problem. Then I went to my mother and knew nothing about the whole matter. About twenty days later I recovered. At our era, we were not having toilets like the non-arabs. We hate it. We were just going to the free spaces in Medina and the women were going out every night to relieve nature. At certain night, I went out with Um Mustah to relieve nature.
At the way, she stumbled with her clothes and said: woe to my son Mustah!. I said to her: it is not good to speak like this about a man like your son, he is one of the immigrants and he has witnessed Bader battle! Um mustah said: don't you know the recent news? I said: what happened? She told me about the rumors made by the people that I committed adultery. I asked her: is that what happened? She said: yes. Hearing that, I was not able even to relieve nature and went back to home. I continued crying till I felt my liver will be broken out. I told my mother: all people speaking ill about me, why you did not mention this to me? My mother said: my dear daughter, don't worry; this usually happens to any beautiful woman loved by her husband who has other wives because the other wives and people will speak a lot about her out of their jealousy. The Prophet – peace be upon him – then delivered a sermon to the people – I did not know.
He said: "O people, why some group of you are speaking ill about my family and telling lies about them? I swear by Allah the almighty that my wife is good and chaste. Moreover, they also spoke ill about a man who is straightforward. That man did not enter my house except in my company". Hearing that, Abdullah Bin Ubai and some men of Al-Khazraj tribe got angry and the matter became complicated after what was told by Mustah and Hamna Bint Jahsh, the sister of Zainab Bint Jahsh, the wife of the Prophet – peace be upon him – because she was the only wife who compete with my rank for the Prophet. Zainab spoke only good about me but her sister Hamna spread ill rumors about me.
When the Prophet – peace be upon him – delivered the above mentioned sermon, Usaid Bin Khudair said: O Prophet of Allah, if they (the people who spoke ill about your family) are from Al-Aws tribe we will kill them and if they are from our brothers in Al-Khazraj tribe, just order us and we will cut their necks. Hearing that, Saad Bin Obada (head in Al-Khazraj tribe and was considered of the righteous men) said out of ardor: I swear by Allah that you are lying, we will not allow you to cut their necks, you just said like that because you know well that they (who spoke ill about the Prophet’s family) are from Al-Khazraj tribe, and if they were from your tribe you will not speak like this about them. Usaid replied: I swear by Allah that you are the liar; you are just a hypocrite man defending the hypocrite people. The Prophet – peace be upon him – got down from his stand and called Ali Bin Abi Taleb and Osama Bin Zaid – may Allah be pleased with them – in order to consult them.
Osma spoke good and said: O Prophet of Allah, it is your family and we know nothing but good about them and these rumors are lies and falsehood. Ali said: Oh Prophet of Allah, women are many, you can marry again, and you can ask her maid, she will not lie. The Prophet – peace be upon him – called Barira (the maid) and asked her about the matter. Ali has beaten her severely while saying: speak the truth to the Prophet! The maid was saying: I swear by Allah that I know nothing but good about Aisha except that when I knead the dough I tell her to keep it but she sleeps and forgets it, so the sheep comes and eat it!
Then Aisha said: the Prophet – peace be upon him – entered to my room while my parents were with me. There was also a woman from al-Ansar (people who supported the Prophet) crying with me. The Prophet – peace be upon him – sat down, praised Allah then said: O Aisha, you knew what the people are saying, be pious, and if you committed any thing of what is said by the people just repent to Allah. Allah will accept the repentance. Hearing that, I did not find any tears in my eyes (out of my astonishment of the speech of the Prophet) and expected that my parents will answer on my behalf but they did not do so. I was thinking that the Prophet – peace be upon him – will see a dream proving my innocence but did not expect that my rank is high to the degree that Allah the almighty will reveal a verse proving my innocence. I told my parents: can't you answer the Prophet of Allah? They replied: we do not know what to say. The matter was very difficult for Abu Baker family.
Aisha said: at that ordeal, the family of my father Abu Baker suffered more than anyone can bear. Then Aisha said: when my parents did not reply, I started crying and said: I swear by Allah I will not repent from what you say at all because if I admit what the people is saying – though I am innocent – I will be saying what is not happened actually and if I denied, you will not believe. Then I tried to remember the name of the Prophet Yaqoub (Jacob) but in vain, then I said: I will say just like the father of Yusuf: {for me patience is most fitting: against that which ye assert, it is Allah (alone) whose help can be sought}. Then the revelation came to the Prophet – peace be upon him - and I put a pillow under his head. I did not fear anything because I was sure that I was innocent but my parents feared that Allah will reveal something proving the sayings of people.
Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – sat down sweating heavily. He started wiping his sweat and said: be happy Aisha, Allah the almighty has revealed your innocence. I said: all praise be to Allah the almighty. Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – went out and recited the following verses: {those who brought forward the lie are a body among yourselves: think it not to be an evil to you; on the contrary it is good for you: to every man among them (will come the punishment) of the sin that he earned, and to him who took on himself the lead among them, will be a penalty grievous}.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: the story is right and it is mentioned in Al-Bukhari & Muslim – Reported by: Al-Albani – Source: Fiqh Al-Sira – page or number: 288
Giving time to adorn themselves
We went for a battle with the Prophet – peace be upon him – and I was riding on my camel but someone followed me from behind and began urging my camel with a stick; so, my camel went forward quickly more than the best camels. The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: (why you are in a hurry?). I said: I got married recently. He said: (you married a virgin or not?). I replied: a not virgin. He said: (isn't it better to marry a young girl so that you can have fun with each other?). Then, when I went to consummate the marriage, the Prophet– peace be upon him – said: (wait until night – i.e. After Al-Isha (evening Prayer) – so that the bride can comb her hair and get ready).
Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: Al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 5079
Considering their psychology while they were ill
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was, if one of his family members sick, reading surah Al-Falq verse and An-Nas verses on the sick member of his family and wiping him with his hands. When he got sick, which caused his death, I started reading the two verses and wiped him with his own hands because they are more blessed than mine.
Narrated by: Aisha – degree: right – Reported by: Muslim – Source: al-Musnad Al-Sahih – page or number: 2192
Bringing good news and joy to them
Jibreel (the angel of revelation) – peace be upon him – came to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and said: o Prophet of Allah, this is Khadija coming holding a pot of food or drink, when she reaches you, tell her the greetings of Allah Almighty and me and tell her that Allah has prepared for her a house in Paradise made out of pearls wherein she will enjoy calmness and comfort.
Narrated by: Abu Huraira – degree: right – Reported by: Al-Bukhari – Source: al-Jame' Al-Sahih – page or number: 3820
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated that the Prophet – peace be upon him – told her: "Jibreel is telling you his greetings" Aisha replied: tell him my greetings.
Jibreel – peace be upon him – came to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and said: O Prophet of Allah, this is Khadija coming holding a pot of food or drink, when she reaches you, tell her the greetings of Allah the almighty and me and tell her that Allah has prepared for her a house in paradise made out of pearls wherein she will enjoy calmness and comfort. The Prophet – peace be upon him – told these good news to Khadija and was very happy for her.
The Prophet's Emotions Towards his Wives
The rights of the husband upon his wife are greater than the rights of the wife upon her husband for the simple reason that Allah, the Almighty, stated in the glorious quran what means: “…And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. but the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise." [Quran 2: 228]
Man is the caretaker of his wife and household. He is responsible for all her affairs. he is responsible for training, direction and discipline if needed. Allah Almighty says what means: “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…” [Quran 4:34]
It is an essential right of man over his wife to be obeyed so long as his commands do not conflict or contradict the commands of Allah, the Almighty, Allah's Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) and the general teachings and codes of ethics of Islam.
Allah Almighty says in the same verse mentioned above (what means): "...But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever exalted and grand.." [Quran 4:34]
A Muslim wife must protect her husband’s secrets, privacies, honor and dignity. She also must protect his wealth, children, finance, belongings and other aspects of his household, as much as possible.
Allah Almighty says in the same verse (what means): "...So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard..." [Quran 4:34]
Allah's Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The wife is the guardian over the house of her husband and his children." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
And, “If I were to command a single person to bow in prostration to another person, I could have commanded a woman to bow down (in obedience and respect, not in worship) to her husband.” [Abu Daawood]
Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “If a husband calls his wife to his bed, but the latter refused to fulfill the call (for any reason other than a lawful one), which drives the man to become upset with his wife, then angels will curse such a wife until she gets up in the morning.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
He sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) furthermore, said: "Their (husbands') rights over you (wives) is that you do not allow anyone whom they dislike onto your bedding and you do not allow anyone whom they dislike into your house." [At-Tirmithi]
The wife must not leave the house except with her husband's permission and approval. She must also lower her gaze, keep her voice low, keep her hands from reaching out to anything evil and keep her tongue from any lewd or foul speech. she also must not harm his parents or near relatives.
This is because Allah Almighty has said (what means): "And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance...." [Quran 33:33]
Allah Almighty also has said (what means): "...Do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech." [Quran 33:32]
In another verse, Allah sayas (what means): "And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof..." [Quran 24:31]
Allah's Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The best woman is the one who when you look at her, you are pleased; when you order her, she obeys; if you are absent from her, she guards herself and your property." [At-Tabarani]
An other right of the husband over his wife is that the husband may ask his wife not do something, including, but not limited to voluntary acts of worship, other than obligatory, which cause her to lessen the time that her husband may have to enjoy her.
Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) stated: “A wife is not allowed to observe fast (other than fasting in the month of ramadhaan, the prescribed, unless she has his permission. She may not allow any one to come into his house, unless he permits.” [At-Tirmithi]
moreover, Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) placed the satisfaction and pleasure of a husband to be one of the reasons to enable the wife to enter paradise.
At-Tirmithi reported from Umm Salamah, the mother of the believers may allaah be pleased with her that Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: “any woman whose husband dies while he is pleased, happy and satisfied with her (acts, attitudes and behavior) will enter jannah (paradise).”
These are but few items of the many rights that Islam, the religion of truth, imposes upon those who commit themselves to follow and practice it as a way of life. We vividly see that such rights, if maintained properly, will lead a society to peace, happiness and tranquility.
A husband becomes caring, affectionate, loving and responsible, yet directing and capable of discipline when needed to improve a troublesome situation, regardless of his tender care and love for his wife, so that vise and wickedness will not spread in the society.
A wife becomes more respected, adored, cared for, highly needed and appreciated if she respects the rights of her husband, and equally given the rights she is entitled for by Islam.
in such a coherent way, the religion of truth, goodness, justice, equity, and all fairness coincide with basic requirements of life including harmony between all the members of the society, especially between the husband and the wife.
The Rights of the Wife upon her Husband
Financial Rights
The wife is naturally entitled for food, clothing, housing and other related items with expenses to be born by the husband. This natural right has been given by allaah almighty to the wife based on the following verse from the glorious quran (which means): “Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable. No person is charged with more than his capacity..."[Quran 2: 233]
1. The mahr (dowry): this is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. it is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. allaah almighty says (what means): “And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.” [Quran 4: 4
2. Spending: it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.
What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allah says (what means): "…upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable…” [Quran 2: 233]
And (what means): “Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him…" [Quran 65: 7]
It was narrated that Aisha said: “Hind Bint (the daughter of) ‘Utbah, the wife of Aabu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what i take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” [Al-Bukhaari and Mmuslim]
It was narrated from Jaabir may allaah be pleased with him that Allah's Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said in his farewell sermon: “Fear Allah concerning women! verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. you too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bedding [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” [Muslim]
Also, the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) was once asked: “what is the right of the wife unto her husband?” he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: “She is entitled for the same food you eat, offer her clothing whenever you buy yourself clothes, do not hit her on the face, do not insult her and do not abandon her unless you do so (i.e. abandon her) in the same house (under the same roof).” [Abu Daawood, Ahmad and Ibn Maajah]
3. Accommodation: this is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allah Almighty says (what means): “Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them…” [Quran 65: 6]
Non-Financial Rights
1. Fair Treatment of Co-Wives: one of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.
in case of multiple wives, the husband must be fair and just to all of them, treat them fairly in terms of expenditure, housing, time and all other items of which the husband is capable. being biased or even inclined and preferring one wife over the other is considered one of the major sins.
Allah’s Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a man was married to two wives and is inclined to one of them (and favored her over the other), he will come on the day of judgment with one side of his body tilted (as a punishment for his unjust treatment).” [Imaam Ahmad]
Man, as the husband, however will not be held responsible or accountable for things that he has no control over, such as love, affection and self-comfort. Allah, the almighty stated in the glorious Quran (what means): "And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah– then indeed, Allah is ever forgiving and merciful." [Quran 4: 129]
However, if a husband preferred one wife over another in terms of spending the night with, based on the approval and acceptance of the other wife, then, in such a case, there is no harm. that was the case with Aisha and Sawdah, two of the prophet’s wives may allaah be pleased with them when Sawdah may allaah be pleased with her agreed to grant her night to Aisha may allaah be pleased with her toward the end of the life of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ).
Yet, when the prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) became very ill, he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) continuously asked: “where shall be tomorrow (i.e., in whose house)?” all his wives agreed to let him stay at the house of Aisha may allaah be pleased with her where he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) wanted to be until his death sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ). [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
2. Kind Treatment: the husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allah says (what means): “…and live with them in kindness…” [Quran 4: 19]
also Allah says (what means): “…and due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable...” [Quran 2: 228]
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah may allaah be pleased with him said: “The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said: ‘be kind to women.’”[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
here are some examples from the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ):
It was narrated from Zaynab Bint (the daughter of) Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah may allaah be pleased with her said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) under a single woolen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said to me: ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘yes.’ then he, Salallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet...” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It was narrated that ‘Urwah Ibn Al-Zubayr said: “Aisha may allaah be pleased with her said: ‘by Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the mosque of the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough...’” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
It was narrated from ‘Aisha may allaah be pleased with her that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) used to pray sitting down; he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would recite Quran when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty verses left, he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) did rukoo’ (bowing), then sujood (prostration); then he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would do likewise in the second rak’ah (unit of prayer). When he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) had finished his prayer, he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would look, and if I was awake he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would talk with me, and if I was asleep he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) would lie down. [Al-Bukhaari]
3. Not harming one’s wife: This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is forbidden in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah Ibn As-Saamit may allaah be pleased with him that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) ruled: “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” [Ibn Maajah]
Among the things to which the lawgiver (Allah Almighty) drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.
It was narrated from Jaabir may allaah be pleased with him that the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may allaah exalt his mention ) said in his farewell sermon: "…But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” (part of the above-mentioned Hadeeth) [Muslim]
